How To Get Over A Breakup

Whether your breakup happened three days, three weeks or even years ago sometimes it can still hurt. And let's face it, break ups are always a hard thing to go through, no matter what the circumstances of that breakup were, having to deal with saying goodbye to someone you love or hold dear is difficult. We get it, we’ve all been through it at some point as well and even though we know that there’s no heartbreak that can kill you, we’re here to give you a couple of tips that worked for us in order to get over our own breakups.

The One Were You Break Up
If you’re the one who took the step forward you probably thought about it for a while before taking that step. However, most times it’s still hard. At the end of the day you’re letting go, for whatever reason, of someone who meant a lot in your life and that is never easy.

Take your time and remember this break up happened for a specific reason, and the most important thing to do is to understand what you want, think and feel. Being aware of these 3 things are vital for your post break up recovery. There will be harder days than others, which is normal just remember to focus on your recovery and your wellbeing.

The One Were They Break Up With You
This is an awful scenario because sometimes you feel it coming and sometimes you don’t have a clue. Both are painful, but the second hits harder. Break ups hurt… literally. Research shows that the same brain areas are activated during a break up as when we feel physical pain. And above that a difficult breakup can hurt your self esteem. If you slip up, don’t beat yourself up. It’s a long process and you can just start again.

The best pieces of advice we can ever give to you are to try not to keep tabs on them through social media or others and to keep moving forward. Remember this new road you’re on is about you now and it can feel hard but take it day by day and it’ll get easier everyday. Eventually, you’ll get there.

The One Were You Get Ghosted
Being ghosted is never fun. The worst part? You never know what happened. Ghosting is incredibly painful because you get a taste of something good and then it’s cruelly taken from you without explanation. Most of the time it isn’t even about getting over the person who did this, but getting over the feelings of betrayal that person gave you.

Whether it happened after a couple dates or a couple months let us drill this into your head: most of the time it's never you! You just happened to get involved with someone so emotionally immature, they couldn't be honest with you. Accepting your feelings and allowing yourself to hurt is the most important thing, be gentle with yourself and validate what you are feeling and after allowing yourself time to grieve and move through your emotions, get back out there and date other people (if you want to!).

The One That Almost Was
Sometimes it’s the “almost” relationships that break you harder than anything else. There is nothing more painful than wasted potential, especially when it is something you really wanted in your life. It’s particularly easy to get stuck here, in the mud of wondering what could have been. There was no real beginning, so there was no real end. It ends up just as a bunch of unanswered questions that will forever stay that way. It’s a painful abbreviation of something like love that never had a chance to grow into more.

Most people turn to the “it just wasn’t the right time” blame and unfortunately we’re here to give you some tough love: even though “bad timing” can actually exist it is usually a mask for other uncomfortable realities such as commitment issues, emotional unavailability or simply a just‑not‑that‑into‑you situation. The truth is, this person wasn’t right for you. If they had been, you’d be together the faster you understand that the quicker you’ll get over it. It’s normal to cling to hope because you never had closure but trust us “out of sight out of mind” is true, do yourself the favor of taking this person out of your sight for a while so that you can heal.

Unfollow or block them so you aren’t tempted to check up on them, or wonder if they’re checking up on you. Blocking isn’t mean, it’s self‑love and self‑preservation. It doesn’t have to be this way forever, only until you can get to a point where you truly feel like you’ve moved on.

The One Were You Were On A Break
You can probably hear Ross’s pitchy voice yelling this in your head right now (we know we do) but in real life taking a break in a relationship is no joke. A lot of people think it’s just a pre‑break up but that isn’t always the case. When you’re in the midst of a murky relationship, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to take a step back to see things more clearly. In fact, taking a break may provide the exact clarity you need. Only then will you be confident enough to know how to move forward. If you and your SO are taking a break here are some do’s and don’ts to make it work for the best (whatever result that may bring).

Do’s :
‑Be honest about what you want.
‑Set boundaries and have rules.
‑Set a realistic time frame.
‑Ask yourself the important questions.

Don’ts:
‑Take a break if you’re sure you want to break up.
‑Communicate during a break.
‑Focus only on your partner’s needs.
‑Set unrealistic expectations.